I have not posted in a while. My daughters Birthday, Mom's Birthday, school year is ending and work has been crazy - all has kept me away from the net this past couple of weeks. One event that has consumed the last few days has been the death of a dear friend, not even 50 yet. I have spent a lot of time talking to friends and working thru the grief that we all feel when a loved one leaves the planet. These discussions have shaped the following article and I share it now with you. It is really about Death, Grief, Grieving, Loss, Life and Investing in others. I hope you might take a second to read and reflect on the things that do really matter.
How do you measure a life?
I had a
friend die this past week that has left me feeling the loss of his presence from this planet.
What is that feeling of loss?I believe we feel loss due to the
investment that person made on our lives. The value and character that person lived and the feeling of value we felt by knowing them is the impact they made on us. The love that we shared, history we had and stories we can tell are examples of that impact.
Let me tell you a brief story. When my wife Diana lost her dad, Al Ditri, many people where affected. Al had been a loving man and had lived life to the fullest with lots of people sharing that experience with him. I felt loss and sadness, but Diana was devastated. I began to realize that the loss felt had to be related to the
quality of investment made by that person.
Funny thing for me, was realizing that part of my
grief had to do with the fact that I would never feel that for my own dad. My dad had been the poster child for relational damage, and I found myself also mourning the loss of any hope for a loving dad like she had experienced. It was an odd feeling to actually be jealous of her grief.
Years later,
my dad died. I had not heard from him in over a decade and sad to say, no one I knew was affected in any way by the news of his passing. The amount of investment, and character from my dad negated any feeling of loss. Any sadness I felt had to do with the reality that the only dad you get in life, sucked for me.
It was then that I remembered what I had experienced with Diana. Theamount of investment is directly proportionate to the sense of loss.The better or bigger the person, the longer the
investment period, thegreater the
loss.
As I have watched my world begin
grieving the
loss of
Bill Bieschke, Inoticed one more thing. I have felt the cumulative effects of so manyin my life
grieving at the same time. Many of the most important peoplein my life knew and loved Bill. Everywhere I go, people are talkingabout Bill and telling stories of how much Bill meant to them. So manypeople are feeling that loss right now.
It made me think. If the value of a life is measured by the love andinvestment made in others, and the scope of that life is felt as far asyou can see, then the measure of that life must have been huge.
I found myself telling people that
the hurt they feel is a privilege.To be able to hurt is a testament of the value that person was in ourlives!
We actually celebrate a life by mourning that loss!To answer the question I began with; I believe
you can measure a lifeby the loss felt when it is gone. I know many people feeling the lossof our brother Bill, and that is a testament to the investment he madein the many people around him.
Lastly, I think this is an
important perspective to maintain, to livelife to the fullest, and make a difference in the world. Right now,many of my friends are thinking about things that actually matter. Theyaren’t talking about a boss that sucks or money problems. They aretalking about feelings, loss, life, death and looking within.
Mortality is still 100% in America! We all have a limited time on thisplanet. We all hope to make a difference in our world. Life is not allabout me (or you).
The investment we make in others is the success wewill be measured by.I write this as much for the potential reader feeling loss as I do formyself. I hope I can remember what I feel today thru the rest of mylife and live it loving and investing value in the people around me.
Success will never be measured by your business or personalaccomplishments. It will be measured by your ability to lift others up.
You will find success as you invest in the lives around you.
Themeasure of your life will be the people you touched. Show up. Be there.Share live and
tell the people you love, “I love you” often. Life isshort, so live it doing the things that matter and invest in the thingsthat last. People are forever. Make an investment that can go with youfrom this life into the next.
And please, make
peace with God. You will be standing before him oneday and it is an important moment to have prepared for. Bill is inheaven today, hanging with some of the most amazing people that evergraced our planet.
Bill found forgiveness and relationship with God,living these realities in very tangible ways. I am so thankful for hislife, his love, his example and his investments.
Love you Bill. Prayers to Gwen and the many many people that you invested in! They are a little sad right now.
Services scheduled at Saddleback Church, Friday, June 19 at 2:00 pm in Main Sanctuary. Come to celebrate the gift of Bill Bieschke's life!!
A sax players ramblings on
life,
death,
love,
value and
investing in others.Greg Vail
Death,
Grief,
Grieving,
Loss,
Life and
Investing in others.....
